So often organizations use website content that is too long and unnecessarily wordy. Why say something in 20 words, when five would communicate the same exact message?
My advice when writing is to start by writing what you want to say. Don’t try to “write” what you need to write, just write what you need to say. Get the basic message out and you can finesse it from there.
I went online to find a random example of too much text on a website. I searched for “Home Improvement” websites and found the copy below on the Home page of a website. I have changed the name of the company to protect the innocent (or the guilty).
Here’s what it said:
Thank you for your interest in ABC Company, we are an extremely diversified family business operating in Montgomery County, PA incorporating most services needed to complete any residential or light commercial remodeling project. Your at the right place if you want….
Quality bathroom remodeling, home improvements, free Remodeling Estimates, a 30 Minute design consultation during your estimate and 3D cad viewing after project acceptance.
First, most concerning to me was that they incorporate “most” services needed to complete my remodeling project. Yikes! That sounds scary to me. If I’m signing up for a remodeling project, I’d like to know it will be completed. I think they mean something different here, but that was my first thought.
Second, I think the days of thanking someone for their interest or for visiting your website are over. While gratitude is always appreciated, this one can go without saying.
Finally, I would change it to this:
Headline: A remodeling company you can trust
ABC Company’s quality residential and light commercial remodeling services range from home additions to kitchens and bathrooms, and more.
Call today for your complimentary estimate and 30-minute design consultation.
The original copy has 64 words and I tried to reduce the word count by half. Unfortunately, I was only able to cut it down to 35 words.
I think you can leave out the area you serve since your address will hopefully be in the upper or lower header of your website. And of course I’d leave out the grammar errors and random capitalization.
The new copy is clear and concise. It also adds a call to action, “Call today.” It uses fewer words to convey the same message.
How’s your website doing in this department? Could it use to lose some copywriting fat?